Some days ago I bumped into an italian fb post that was saying:
“I’m a mother. I have 2 children. I went to the family doctor because I have memory loss and difficulty concentrating. The family doctor tells me I have to sleep 8 hours a day. I have back pain. I have to exercise 2-3 times a week.
My eldest son’s teacher says that the child needs to be supervised while doing his homework. My youngest son’s allergist says that the child needs to eat fresh food without any of the 30 ingredients to which he is allergic. That I have to buy everything fresh. My husband and my eldest son say that the baby’s food sucks and that they can’t eat it, so I have to cook something else. Educational experts and psychologists say that you have to spend 30 minutes a day with each child for harmonious development. The pediatrician says to let them go out to the park every day for an hour, outdoors for a better development of the brain. The monthly bills say I have to work full time.
The education and development expert says that the best thing is to let children explore when they play and that they can get dirty, even when it means washing clothes every day. The couples therapy specialist says that the couple should have a romantic date or spend some time alone 1-2 times a week. Successful career women say that a woman must take some time to take care of her appearance. The psychologist says that I need time just for myself. So now I’m looking for a wizard to teach me how to get all this in 24 hours.”
I had friends telling me I am wonder woman too. Honestly I don’t feel that way at all. I’ve never been so weak and vulnerable in my entire life. Quite often I find myself thinking about what my mother would say about me right now and which suggestion she would have for me.
My mother, Letizia (or Leticia for some), was also my best friend. She died at 33 for complications due to hepatitis when I was 15 years old. Now that I am mother I realise how much dedication and sthrengh she had for the both of us.
She had a bit of a complicated life. She had two or more jobs as receptionist during the day in hotels and bartender at night to grant me all that I needed to have a normal life. Back then I didn’t realise how might have been for her. I never went out without money in my pocket, I had my holidays during the summer and long weekends trips to different places, dinner with friends, gifts and everything else. I remember once when I was around 12 that I complained because I wanted to have brand clothes as my friends. How ungrateful I was.
The man she was with for years that I called father, even if he was not my real one, cheated on her in the most horrible way with a family friend. That was the only moment of my entire life that I saw her down for a bit. After the dark moment she has risen again stronger than before and found love again.
It was not always easy to stay around her, she was a bit moody with a strong personality. She was strict but a loving mother, sister, girlfriend and a friend. She was determined, funny and a charming woman.
I did ballet since I was 4 and had a lot of performances: I remember she missed just one but she sent me flowers.
Letizia had me when she was just 17 and didn’t want my father to officially recognise me, basically because he was an asshole. That decision required a lot of courage and she made that choice for the best of us both.
One of the regrets I think she had was that she wanted another child and haven’t studied more but she kept herself busy. She was doing English classes and loved to read and write. After she died I found out her diary. This is how I know all these things.
Now that I have my son Enea I realised how much she sacrificed for me without me even noticing. This makes me a bit sad because she is my reference, the person I would like to be and I hope that I am making herself proud of me in some ways. I wonder if she had the same struggles I am facing right now. I guess I know the answer already, but I am sure she just acted differently and did not allow the bad moments to get the best of her.
My mother is my Wonder Woman.